


Liquor and Loneliness

by indiadillon21



Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiadillon21/pseuds/indiadillon21
Summary: Emma finds herself spending the evening with Regina, she sees a spark of kindness in the woman but can the Saviour light the whole fire?





	1. Chapter 1

"I guess after my parents abandoned me I never thought I needed anyone... that was until Henry, of course." Emma had no idea why she felt she should confess this to the Mayor but something about the warm haze of her living room and the sweet burn of liquor in her throat gave her courage to open up. 

Regina furrowed her brow in an almost sympathetic way. "The nights he's not with me hurt the most. It feels like I'm being abandoned all over again." My God did Regina know that feeling all too well. She felt a twist in her gut and she knew she was going to regret saying this but- "Well Emma, if you ever feel alone you are quite welcome to come and visit Henry-" she stopped herself and sipped her apple cider, embarrassed and hoping the offer wasn't too forward for the Sheriff. 

Emma felt a shock. A spark. A smile spread across the younger woman's face. Not only did Regina address Emma by her first name but she showed... compassion. She graciously accepted. "I knew it wasn't all hollow in there. Ruby owes me 5 bucks; I always knew you had a heart." 

Anger and embarrassment rose in the brunette. Does she explode at the fact that Miss Swan had profited from her distant and cold behaviour or does she shy away at the fact that Emma believes in her? She did both. 

Regina abruptly broke the silence. "I think that's enough chit chat for one night Miss Swan. I think we both know you've had enough to drink." 

"Oh so it's back to 'Miss Swan' now is it? That didn't last very long." Emma slurred slightly as she attempted to get to her feet. Regina picked the keys from Emma's hand and pushed her back to the sofa. "You're horribly mistaken if you think I'd let you drive at that level of intoxication." The blonde was left with nothing to do but watch Regina's ass as it swayed back to the kitchen. Fuck. She was gorgeous. 

"Don't take my compassion for weakness, Miss Swan." Regina called from the kitchen. "I'll take it as a start, Madam Mayor." If Regina was insisting on the use of the pathetic monikers then Emma could bite back with them too. All Regina could do was bite her lip and smile at Emma's drunken attempt to provoke the Mayor. She was cute, she had to admit it. Emma Swan was quite possibly the cutest person she'd met. Her thoughts clouded her judgement when she offered to let Emma stay the night on the couch. 

Emma heard "stay the night" and immediately made her way up the marble staircase. Although she was not aware of where she would sleep, the first bed she saw she decided to claim. Much to Regina's distaste, it happened to be her king size bed that Emma had splayed herself across. It was something about Emma's vulnerable position on the bed that set Regina on fire. She felt frozen yet she was burning from the inside out. 

"Are you just gonna sleep standing up or do you need me to move?" Emma smirked as she inhaled deeply and yawned, her ribcage pushed in the air. "Sheriff Swan," Regina started, a giggle in her voice. "You are horribly mistaken if you think we are sharing a b-" but before she finished Emma had pulled her down on the bed. "Would you just shut up for once and play along." It amazed her when she regained her senses but Regina was actually... laughing. Little giggles filled the room. It was something about the blonde woman that made the Mayor feel... young again. "Wipe that smirk off your face, Miss Swan. You haven't won just yet." Emma raised an eyebrow, challengingly. It set Regina off. She pounced on the blonde in a desperate attempt to reclaim her bed. "Regina relax man. It's king size, what are you worried about? We might cuddle in the night." 

Hesitation. 

That was exactly what Regina was afraid of. This was a woman she had loved since the day she crossed that town line and Emma was about to sleep half naked in her bed. Emma began to worry she had upset the brunette. "I get it, Regina. Personal space and all that. I-I think I'm fine to drive." Emma sat on the edge of the bed and then began to stand up as Regina walked around to meet her. "No, Emma. You're not." The Mayor pushed Emma to a seated position again. Emma looked down. "I can stay on the couch, Regina. Honestly, I don't mind. I've dealt with Mary Margaret's and you'd think for a cosy woman like her she'd get a comfy couch but actually it's probably the worst couch I've ev-"

Emma couldn't carry on. 

Regina's lips hit hers and her heart stopped. 

Emma's, however, was nearly pumping out of chest. Was it the liquor or the loneliness? Either way it would be regret in the morning but neither of the women took much notice of the complicated future that would follow with this drunken act. Regina's hands moved to Emma's waist and up her back as she laid her down on the bed.

Regina was slow to glide over Emma's soft skin, gently clawing at times. Little moans dribbled from the saviour's mouth when Regina's nails scraped slightly. Her white tank top didn't last long in the hands of the mayor. Regina paused as Emma's toned body was revealed to her in the low light. She was straddling the woman now and once she regained her thoughts after admiring the blonde's body, she went back to kissing her. 

Emma's hands were pinned above her head whilst Regina ran her tongue across her lips and moved down to her neck; finding the soft spot below her ear and sucking gently. It set Emma on fire. She fought for dominance and rolled Regina over to swap positions. She palmed at Regina's clothed breasts and decided she wanted more. She ran her hands down Regina's torso to the top of her pencil skirt, driving Regina wild. 

Before Regina had time to comprehend what had happened, Emma was already mid-way down her shirt undoing the buttons. She bit her lip in anticipation for what the blonde was about to do to her. Emma's hands dragged their way back up to the Mayor's collarbone and her fingertips danced across the sun-kissed skin. "You know, Regina.. I'd threaten to choke you, but you'd probably like it." Regina moaned as the blonde's lips were inches away from hers but the restraint of the blonde on her chest made it impossible for her to reach up and recapture Emma's lips. 

It was Emma's turn to kiss her neck and without a thought she moved from Regina's soft spot and pulled her bra down, revealing a perfectly shaped breast. Regina gasped at the shock of cool air but it was soon soothed by Emma's mouth. 

She took Regina's nipple in between her teeth and nibbled slightly before sucking and releasing it again to do the same to the other. Regina couldn't take it anymore, she needed Emma and she was pretty sure Emma needed her. With a smooth action, Regina moved her knee to under Emma and gently rocked when it hit her soft spot. The blonde paused her ministrations to moan at the contact Regina made. The brunette let out a sultry giggle which drove Emma crazy. 

Regina had gotten what she wanted.

A sense of urgency about her, Emma stood from a straddle position and yanked the Queen's grey pencil skirt from her body, the opaque tights following too. 

And there she was. A picture of beauty, laid out across her bed. And all for Emma Swan. 

A smirked crawled across Regina's face when she saw the torment Emma experienced as Regina removed her own bra. It was almost disappointing to the sheriff that she couldn't do it herself but Emma got her own back when she removed her jeans alone. The brunette crawled across the bed and sat up to meet Emma, who was standing erect at the edge of the bed. Reaching out, Regina placed a hand around the back of Emma's neck and pulled her in for a smashing kiss. Their tongues battling with each other as they felt themselves falling deeper and deeper in love. 

It wasn't long until the saviour's bra was history as well. They admired each other in the dim light before Emma pushed Regina back onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

"Take me, Emma." 

The blonde obliged and ran her tongue down the Queen's chest and across her stomach. She stopped when she reached the Mayor's lacy panties. Emma took her index finger and swiped it along the crotch, feeling the wetness that was already cascading from the brunettes centre.

Her breathing laboured and her body writhed under the touch of the sheriff. Emma dragged the black lace panties down her thighs and off her toned, dark legs. A feeling of excitement filled the Queen as Emma's hot breath warmed Regina's sopping centre.


	2. Going Down

Emma hooked her thumbs over the silky fabric of Regina's panties and dragged the down sun-kissed legs. Kissing Regina's thigh softly; she moved closer to Regina's hot centre, smirky at the trail of lipstick she left on her way. The brunette writhed under the blonde and Emma's face lit up at what she was doing to Regina. 

Without warning Emma thrust a finger into Regina, hard. Regina cried out loud at the sudden pain that dissipated quickly to pleasure. Emma carefully added a second finger and her tongue too. She circled Regina's clit whilst pumping slowly first, watching the older woman's reaction to see if it was ok to continue. Regina looked down and gave Emma a smouldering look that set her on fire. She continued. 

She picked up the pace with her fingers and flicked Regina's clit with her tongue very so often. She knew that was what the Queen loved. Regina's breathing laboured as well as her moans. She yelled for Emma to finish her and felt a smirk again her heat. Emma followed the Mayors demand and sucked her clit hard whilst curling her fingers inside. It was one last finishing pump that sent Regina so far over the edge. She gripped the bedsheets and tossed her head back whilst Emma finished. 

Emma crawled back up the brunettes body and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. Regina tasted herself on the blonde's lips.

"Your turn, Saviour." 

A warm excitement rose in Emma's stomach as Regina flipped them so she was on top. Regina ran her hands from her collar bone all the way to the Saviour's hips before moving her own body to under the bed sheet and covering herself with it. Emma had no idea what was about to happen but the lack of knowledge and anticipation for the unknown just heightened Emma's sexual tension. A shock hit her when she felt Regina. 

It was slow at first but relaxing. The type of pleasure that made Emma feel high. As her breathing rate increased so did Regina's. Both of them were intoxicated by their own hormones and the love they shared. 

Regina increased her pace slightly and Emma could feel her everywhere at once. All at once. If it weren't that Regina was so god damned good as this, Emma thought she might have died. It wasn't long before Emma hit her peak hard and fast. Regina slowed her rate and eventually withdrew herself back up to Emma's level. They shared a few more open mouthed kisses before neither woman could continue. 

Regina melted into Emma's embrace and slowly her body relaxed under the warmth that Emma radiated. For once, Regina felt... at peace.


	3. Morning full of regret

The blackout curtains made it hard for Regina to make sense of what was going on. She rolled over to a perfect silhouette. Hourglass figure, curls on the pillow. 

What did she do last night? 

Or rather... who? 

As the blackout curtains failed to stop the now broad daylight from seeping through, Regina had no excuse for not getting up. The golden rays lit up the room, exposing every skin cell on the blonde's body. Emma Swan. 

Soon everything rushed back. What she drank, what she offered Ms Swan and what she then gave Ms Swan. She was too overwhelmed with fear and resentment for herself to stop and think about how happy she was. She was scared. Panicking. She laid back down which woke Emma. 

The blonde released a soft moan as her eyes adjusted to the bright light. "Morning, Sunshine!" Emma smirked at Regina. How was it that after the heavy night they had just shared, Regina was still simply exquisite. Her bare face and messy hair was still as attractive as ever. It was something of a trance that Emma was put it. 

Regina felt Emma's eyes burning into her skin. She felt raw, on display to Ms Swan and it scared her. More than ever. She frowned, afraid of what was about to happen. This snapped Emma out of her daze. "What's wrong, Princess?" 

Why was Emma treating it like it was nothing? 

"I'm a Queen, thank you very much." Regina was in no mood for foolish games. She felt it happening. Her walls back up faster than ever, no warning. Nothing. Just blocked out and protected from everyone as usual. Her fickle heart and bitterness were eating her alive but what could she do? The only person who could numb that was Daniel but now... Emma too? Of all the people Regina had feelings for Emma Swan would not have been her first choice. It was at this point Regina Mills knew she wasn't in control anymore. This worried her, of course. She was a Queen. The Queen. In control of everything and everyone. 

Everyone but herself. 

"If you'll excuse me, Ms Swan, I have plenty of paperwork to complete and a house to clean."

Regina's painful heart dropped when she saw the Blonde's expression. She didn't want to do this but she had to. 

After all... love is weakness. 

"So.. We're not even going to talk about this? Regina.. don't shut me out." 

"I'm doing nothing of sort. Please Ms Swan. You're making it a lot harder than it has to be." 

She couldn't say her name. She did everything she could to keep that name out of her mouth. 

Emma... Miss Emma Swan. 

"It was nothing but an accident, Swan. Nothing more, nothing less. A drunken act between two friends." 

Broken.

"Wow. You kick me out AND friend zone me. It must be my lucky day!"

Emma rolled her eyes. 

"One day, Swan, you'll roll your eyes so hard you'll go blind."

"Good. It'll be better too. Save me from looking at the most beautiful woman who turned me down. I wish I was blind now." 

It was now Regina who rolled her eyes. 

"Emma, stop being such a child. I knew I shouldn't have done this. I knew I would regret it." 

Alone.

"Regina. I don't regret this. At all. I do regret thinking you could ever love someone though. Last night, Regina. Was that just some excuse for you to get lucky? Fuck and chuck? Huh? But I guess it's my own fault. How could I ever think you would love someone? Or want me? You hurt me, Regina. I only have myself to blame but I need you to see. You fucking hurt me, Regina but you just don't give a shit do you?" 

Regina opened her mouth to defend herself but Emma shut her down again. 

Anger. 

"No. You don't get to fucking defend yourself. I am in pain and I don't care how long I have to shout at you to make you see that. I have this awful pain in my chest..." 

Regina couldn't respond. All she ever wanted was to hurt people and now she had succeeded. But she didn't feel happy about it or glad. Quite the opposite. She was ashamed. Guilty. Emma felt rejected, alone, unwanted, broken. And Regina knew this how? 

Because it's exactly what she had felt her entire life. 

But broken pieces can't fix each other. Two floods don't create a drought. Two fires don't put each other out. They only grow. And that's what this love was. A kindling forest fire. A natural disaster just waiting to happen. 

I walked to her, snaked my arms around her hips and leant against her.

"Em-ma.." 

Her baby blue eyes met mine. 

"I don't know how to love very well."


	4. Talk to me

"I don't know how to love very well.."

Emma just gazed into my face. Her eyes soft on my skin as tears pricked at my eyes. She smirked.

"On the contrary, I have to disagree. From last night, it appears you know how to love VERY well." She giggled getting up from the bed and slipping a robe on that was laid across the chair.

"Seriously, Emma. Anyone who I've ever had feelings for I end up pushing away because of Daniel."

Of course. How could Emma have forgotten Daniel? Everything that happened between them, she should have thought before she said that. 

"Right.. sorry, of course." 

"It's fine. No need for apologies, you just have to understand." 

Regina's heart was racing in her chest at everything she was saying to the blonde. She was opening up and it was scaring her.

"I don't know, I guess I feel as though I'm not really good enough for anyone..." 

"Are you telling me you've got feelings for me?" Emma frowned, mildly confused as to why Regina was saying this now. After everything that has happened these past few months, the things that had been said and done, why now? 

"I don't know, Emma."  

Emma didn't know what to say. She just pulled Regina in for a smouldering kiss. They touched foreheads and held each other there for a while. Regina had her eyes shut, she was trying to forget everything and focus on Emma and her feelings towards her. She loved her. Of course she did but they couldn't be together. Not now, not ever. Regina was the Evil Queen and that's how most people still perceive her... including Emma's own parents. And then there was Henry. What would he make of all this?

After a moment, Regina pulled away. "Emma, I tortured your parents for years... I'm a monster and in no way will they ever see me as anything different." 

Regina was tired. So tired. Sick of swimming around in her own destructive thoughts.

"Regina, you are not a monster. You are Regina Mills. You're gorgeous and loving and passionate. You're passionate about Henry and you want the best for him. You're confident and sassy and you get shit done. Granted, you can be a bitch sometimes but people say that like it's a bad thing. It's not. You're strong and independent and if that makes you a monster then so be it. But in my eyes, you are far from a monster. You're gentle and kind, you're the best mother and the best lover. Regina, you're mine and I don't want anyone else." 

A pause. Regina could say anything. She just pulled Emma closer and kissed her passionately. Emma turned her head to deepen the kiss. Regina retreated slightly, still keeping her lips close to the blonde's. She whispered against them.

"I love you, Emma." 

"And I love you, Regina." 

Emma had an idea. "How about we start off slowly. I told my parents I'd collect Henry at 11." Emma glanced at the clock. "It's 10.30 now, let's take a shower and get ready, I'll get Henry and bring him back here. We can tell him and see what happens..."

Regina was hesitant but Emma didn't have to do much to convince her. All she did was slip her robe off and Regina blurted out an "ok" as clear as she could, although she couldn't focus with Emma's lips on her neck, coaxing her into the bathroom.


	5. I knew all along

It was something about the slightly steamed up room and the mass of damp blonde hair that fell gently on Emma's shoulder that made Regina's heart race. This feeling she had. The feeling that made her stomach clench, her mouth go dry and her palms sweat. Something so simple yet so so terrifying. 

She was in  love with Emma Swan. 

The idea of being in love with anyone petrified Regina just purely on the fact that she has never been vulnerable nor wanted anyone to view her as vulnerable or "weakened" because of her new love interest. Coupled with the fact that it was a woman! Regina didn't know how anyone would react and she wasn't ok with this "unknown" feeling. It worried her. Like most things on this earth. 

All this while she had been staring at Emma until the blonde caught her. 

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Regina was snapped out of her daze, confused, she furrowed her brow. 

"It's an expression, Gina." The blonde chuckled as she continued to brush her - now darkened - blonde hair. "Although if a picture is really what you want then..."

The blonde trailed off as Regina grabbed her old Polaroid from the chest of drawers. The blonde laughed at the Mayor's eager photography skills. Before Emma had a chance to compose herself, Regina had snapped a picture of her mid-giggle. 

Emma frowned. "Regiiiinaaa." The saviour whined. "I wasn't ready. I probably look like a laughing horse." Regina scowled. "Impossible, dear. You're too beautiful." She dismissed the blonde's lack of confidence and planted a quick yet satisfying kiss on her baby pink lips. 

The picture slid out from underneath the camera and Regina fanned it around whilst it developed. She paused to glance at the photo and was stopped in her tracks. Her heart thumped again as the picture gained clarity. It illustrated the most beautiful Emma Swan that Regina had witnessed. Natural and... happy.

Her hair a mess and wet in front of her face while her pearly white teeth peeped through the gap that was created by her innocent little giggle. Plump pink lips bent into a beautiful curve whilst her hands clutched at the towel which fell perfectly to allow her porcelain skin to show yet leaving enough to the imagination. She had her legs crossed under the towel and a perfectly manicured foot peeped at the bottom. Regina was truly enraptured by her gorgeousness. 

"Well let me see!" Emma projected her voice. Regina placed the photo into her hand and the sheriff turned it to see. "Ugh, you should've told me before you took it. It's a waste of film." Regina was taken aback by Emma's oblivious attitude towards her beauty. 

"E-Emma, you look angelic." Emma laughed and then furrowed her brow when she saw Regina was being serious. "Honestly, Em I've never seen anything so beautiful." Regina was almost whispering as if any loud noise would break Emma's heavenly glow in the photo. Regina pinned it above her jewellery box so she would be able to see it each day. Emma blushed when she saw what Regina was doing. 

"You're such a softie." The saviour teased.

Regina smirked. Any other time she would have exploded at such an accusation of her being "soft" but it was something about Emma that made her almost agree. She was soft. She had to be. She didn't want to damage Emma. 

Regina hovered around, waiting for Emma to get dressed. She dropped the towel slowly, after picking out underwear, and began to step into her boy-shorts. She slid them up her thighs and Regina was entranced yet again, embarrassed at her incessant staring. Emma smirked after she put on a sports bra and then a wife beater and jeans. 

"Red leather again?" Regina sighed with a dull expression at the blonde's obsession with that jacket. "If it's that annoying then no, I'll put a black one on." Regina grinned at her lover's consideration for her feelings. 

That jacket was awful after all... Regina thought to herself.

They shared a few more kisses before heading out to Emma's bug and climbing in. Regina kept her hand on Emma's which was controlling the gear stick from time to time but otherwise vacant for Regina's use: to hold it for comfort. 

She was nervous.

Now to break the news.


End file.
